Going through a few wedding boards and forums I came across this topic of adult only weddings and my curiosity was piqued. After all, I am not that great with kids so this seems an excellent Cindy choice (if only my fiancé would agree).
So, here’s what I found you can do for your wedding and if you ever do plan an adult wedding then please, invite me!
Before starting, remember that you will have friends and family who will see you as rude because they have children. But it is your day and your reception so your choice or opinion entirely. Here are my tips to help you navigate such a theme with ease.
- Pick an age limit- say 10 and under- and discuss with your fiancé and parents that no children in that bracket will be invited. No exceptions.
- If a flower girl and/or ring bearer are in your party, consider only having them at the ceremony and not the reception. This backs up your “adult only” policy and will help your case that you are not picking and choosing specific children.
- Clearly communicate this via all wedding invites, info, etc. For example, address the invitations directly to the members of the family who are invited. You can also include the exact number of seats reserved for them on the RSVP card. I would also add a small blurb on your wedding website that says “Adult only” reception in your description. Feel free to see how I worded this request on our personal wedding website.
- Give a personal call to the guests who did not get the message from the invitation and RSVP’d with their children anyway. Kindly apologize and explain that children cannot be accommodated. Feel free to throw in the phrase “due to budget” if you need a better excuse.
- Accept the fact that no matter how tactfully you ask, some people might be offended and not come. This is unfortunate but still a possibility and you have to be ready for it.
- Don’t feel guilty! Remember that your guests are not footing your bill nor will they be able to take back the actions of their children should they all of the sudden throw a tantrum in the middle of your vows, which is then captured on video for all eternity. If you want an adult only affair, stick to your guns and try not to feel guilty.
- Offer to hire a couple of babysitters at one of the wedding party hotels or suites, kind of like a temporary daycare for the evening. You can cover an up-front fee for the sitters and then the parents can pay the sitter’s hourly rate per child. This way you look helpful and thoughtful for your guests and less like the child-hating bridezilla.